THE TKTV NEWSLETTER
Season 2, Episode 36 aired November 15, 1999

CONTENTS
1. Intro
2. Letters from the viewing audience
3. Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
     -by guest writer Leo Wang
4. Don't miss
5. TV Trivia
6. Favorite quotes of the week
7. A totally unrelated link

1. Intro

Well, Kim has deserted us this week, so in her place we have a fabulous guest article from Leo about "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?," the scary new show on ABC. Kim will be back with her much-adored Commercial Comments next week, so have no fear.

Speaking of columns, bits and pieces of my intro are going to be published as a column on another web site starting in a few weeks. I'll give you more details as soon as this other site launches, but for now I'm in desperate search of a column name. I'm taking suggestions. If I use your name you'll be featured in my very first column.

TKTV has moved servers. For those of you that care, we have a brand new IP address, and the actual machine is now located in downtown New York City instead of far away in a little server room in Virginia. Please let me know if you notice any problems with the new server or chunks of sites that may have gotten lost in the move and are missing. We just realized that BellAtlantic.net has decided to block access to our new server for no obvious reason, so if you use BellAtlantic.net as your ISP, complain complain and complain to them. Weirdness.

So, along with the move I decided to launch some new show sites. The first of the new sites is for "Angel" on the WB. I won't say much about it, since I reviewed it in an earlier newsletter, but suffice to say that I think it's starting to find its own voice, and I really have enjoyed the last few episodes. Plus, there's a big crossover coming next week with "Buffy" which should be fun.

Check it out at http://angel.tktv.net, and if anyone has a good picture for the front page, I could really use it.

The next site I launched is for the old favorite, "Friends." This site still has some gaps, 'cause "Friends" has been around for awhile and I'm having trouble with six seasons of episode guides. But there are some great old summaries, and lots of news about the cast, and wonderful quotes from the last season or so. Check it out at http://friends.tktv.net, and if you have a good new picture of the cast, I'd really love to replace the silly one that's up there now.

The final site, which I just finished late last night, is for one of Kim's favorite new shows, "Third Watch." For those of you that don't know, "Third Watch" is from executive producers Christopher Chulack and John Wells ("ER"). It's about paramedics, firemen, and police officers that work the so-called "third watch," which is from 3pm to 11pm. Yes, it's yet another rip-off of the old show, "Emergency!," much like last season's failed "Rescue 77" on the WB.

"Third Watch" has an incredible cast, including Michael Beach (Jeannie's ex-husband on "ER"), Eddie Cibrian (Cole Deschanel from "Sunset Beach"), and Jason Wiles (Kelly's coke-head ex-boyfriend on "Beverly Hills 90210" and one of the brothers on "To Have and To Hold"), and the writing is really superb. My one criticism would be that its huge cast is a little daunting. People are left on the backburner, and it's hard to get to know everyone when it's a brand new show and you're being introduced to so many characters at the same time. Also, the characters themselves don't interact with each other very much, so it's sometimes hard to figure out what they're all doing on the same show.

In any case, it's worth watching, and although there are some underlying themes to the show, it's pretty much one you can walk into cold without really knowing the past episodes or the characters, and still enjoy it. Not as much so, as say, "Law & Order," but good enough so you should give it a try. And check out the brand new site, http://thirdwatch.tktv.net .

Enjoy the newsletter!

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2. Letters from the viewing audience

From Leo:
I saw the season premiere of "Harsh Realm," which you would've predicted would be one of the stronger episodes in the production line. Although I didn't particularly like "Millennium" (is that show still around, by the way? If so, what are they going to do in 50 days??), I like and respect Chris Carter's work as intellectually and psychologically groundbreaking for primetime, network TV.

Unfortunately, in every aspect in which "The X-Files" and "Millennium" challenge the complacency of morally conservative, suburban America (BTW - see "American Beauty" for an excellent and extraordinarily pointed commentary on that particular portion of society), "Harsh Realm" coddled it. Basic premise: a good-looking, obedient army officer who is really good at what he does wants to get out because he's desperately in love with his good-looking, obedient wife and they want to have babies and be together. So he gives notice (or whatever it is that they call it in the Armed Forces) and his superiors call him in for "one last assignment" before he gets discharged. They tell him that they want him to beta-test a new VR combat environment training program. His task is to top the high score, racked up by the legendary Santiago. Our hero agrees, but soon realizes that all is not as it seems. Turns out that the VR sim is so complete that he can't get out, and if he gets offed in Harsh Realm he dies in real life as well ("The Matrix," anyone?). In addition, the "high score" bullshit is a farce - Santiago has taken control of the virtual world, slipping in and out of Harsh Realm to keep his real-world body hidden from the Army while controlling his vast, megalomaniacal virtual world. Our hero quickly realizes that he is not the first person who has been sent into Harsh Realm to topple this renegade officer, and that his adversary has stayed on top for as long as he has by killing (or winning over) those that the army has sent to pursue him.

Ok - so far, it's pretty standard sci-fi fare. Nothing original, but nothing horribly offensive or insulting. But then Chris Carter (or someone) decided that what was needed was a little bit of human interest (I guess). So our hero infiltrates Santiago City (insert groan here) and discovers his best friend, who apparently had been sent into Harsh Realm and defected to the dark side. The kicker is that in Harsh Realm, our boy's best friend has married our hero's wife. So our hero kidnaps his (virtual) wife and tries to make her love him while running away from bad guys (including his former best friend) and trying to figure out how to stop this crazy Santiago guy. Long story short, she ends up getting shot by homeboy's best friend (who is trying to kill homeboy, of course) and she virtually dies. Our hero gets away, with help from a terse-and-tough-but-really-a-standup-guy-inside Harrison Ford wanna-be (except here, he's called Pinocchio. Go figure). Closing dialogue: Santiago turns to best friend and says "You have made a serious mistake." Friend says "Why?," to which Santiago replies "Because now, he will never stop." (Groan, again, and insert sound of channel changing rapidly).

So I guess that my point is that the show fell far short of its concept. I mean, I *loved* "The Matrix." And although I've never read the comic book upon which the TV show was based, it sounds like it's a lot more thought-provoking (and substantially different - see www.harshrealm.com for details, but for one thing the Realm in the comix is a place where people *choose* to go, kind of like a vacation. And the analog to Santiago is a teenager, not a grownup.)

"Sports Night" being pulled for sweeps just kills me. I seem to remember them doing something similar last year, putting in back-to-back episodes of "Dharma and Greg" instead (and no offense, but if anyone thinks that that show is funny please explain it to me). "Sports Night" is, by far, the best unwatched show on television (although I have no idea what the viewership is of "Freaks And Geeks," and I have to admit to not having seen an episode. But that'll change on Friday, I promise). It would be a pity if this season's addition of William H. Macy ("Fargo," "Mystery Men," married to Felicity Huffman) didn't rescue the show and put it where it ought to be among Nielsen families.

Note from TK: "Freaks and Geeks" can be found on NBC on Saturdays, not Fridays, although I think they threw in a rerun on a Friday a couple of weeks ago. "Millennium" was cancelled at the end of last season, although Lance Henriksen will be guest starring on an episode of "The X-Files" later this season as Frank Black when Mulder and Scully investigate the Millennium Group.
From Pam:
Hi why don't you try Roswell on Wednesday night. It is a great show and I am already addicted to it. The reviews are pretty good on it too. Jason Behr is excellent as Max Evans, the sweet, shy alien who loves Liz Parker. This show has been called The X-Files meets Dawson's Creek. Give it a try!!!!!!
From Michaela:
I'll admit that I haven't seen "Wasteland," so I can't comment on whether it's worthy of Kim's adulation... I will say, however, I'm not holding my breath that ABC will stick it out with the show. Remember, this is the net that cancelled "My So-Called Life," which had a pretty significant cult following and was widely regarded as television's most realistic portrayal of high school life. Sad, but true: the fact that a show is realistic, moving, and well-loved doesn't seem to convince ABC to keep it on the air. Sigh. But maybe I'm just a pessimist.

Note from TK: this is also the net that cancelled "Cupid" last season....
From Erica:
I too love the new show Freaks and Geeks, and I hcope more people will give it a chance. As of right now, it is expected to be showed on Saturday nights at 8pm, not Sunday. My favorite scene was at the end of, I believe the first episode, when they were all at the dance and they were playing "Come Sail Away" by Styx. They have the greatest music and the scene was so hilarious. I e-mailed the creator and he said, "we are definitely NOT CANCELLED, although the more emails you send to NBC and us, the better our chances are of braving the storm that occurs when you have a new series that doesn't start out at the top of the ratings." So, all you Freaks and Geeks fans keep e-mailing NBC letting them know how much you love the show. I don't want to see this show get the axe, it's too funny and creative (unlike a lot of other shows out there). On a different note, I am still a huge fan of Party of Five. I think the path they are taking with the storyline is great. It's so nice to see Bailey loosening up a bit. I still have hopes for Griffin though, I've always adored him. That's all from me...Thanks!
From Brandy:
I spend some time at work looking over the TKTV website while on break. I enjoy the website very much. I used to watch Party of Five and 90210 every week without fail. I would break plans just to watch it. But now a days I find myself very uninterested in what is going on. I don't even watch P5 anymore, I do read up on it on this website. It has really become boring. The only character I like to watch anymore is Griffin, and he hasn't done very much in the past 2 seasons. And when Jennifer Love Hewitt left I definitly have no interest anymore. Her new show is great though. I enjoy it very much. I still watch 90210, but it isn't because it is that great, but because I have been watching it since I was in Jr. High, and I keep hoping every year they will end it before it dies a grizzly death, so that I can see what happens to everybody, and who end up with who.
Letters from the viewing audience are always welcome. Please email any opinions, questions, comments, or random thoughts to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "letters." Letters may be edited for length or content.

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3. Who Wants to be a Millionaire? by Leo Wang

3pm. Pick up the phone. Dial: 1-877-258-5808. Damn. Busy again. Hang up. Pick up. Redial. Again. Again. Good Lord - couldn't they have gotten more phone lines? Finally I get through: "Hi! This is Regis Philbin, and welcome" to my guest column on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?," the unbelievable ratings-earning new ABC show.

This is going to be a little different from all of the other guest columns that you've read, because "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" is a show that I have *never actually seen.* Nonetheless, I know a fair bit about it, for a couple of reasons. First, ever since watching Quiz Show, I've been fascinated by the concept of the game show. Second, I *really* want to be a millionaire.

For those of you who don't know the history of the show, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" (which I will henceforth abbreviate as WWTBAM) is a British game show, in which contestants answer increasingly difficult trivia questions to win ever-geometrically-larger cash prizes. A phenomenally popular show on that side of the pond, it has proven to be extraordinarily well-watched here as well. The show, with a few rules alterations, debuted in this country as a miniseries last year and got tons of good press and really high ratings. So it's back with a vengeance, this time until late November. I have no idea whether ABC plans to make this a regular show instead of a recurring miniseries, but so far what they're doing has worked well - so well that it's already spawned knockoffs like Fox's "Greed" (which I also have not seen).

So how do I know so much about WWTBAM? Well, one of my wife's colleagues was on the show, and she decided to watch it to see how he did. I was at lab so I missed it, but when I got home she told me that the most interesting thing about the show was that all of the questions had been ridiculously easy. She then told me that to be a contestant required only that you call a phone number (the one with which I opened the column, but you can only call between 3pm and 3am EST). I resolved to find out more about this potential cash cow and headed to abc.go.com (which has got to be one of the *slowest* sites that I've *ever* been on. And that includes Geocities.) where I found out the rules, the phone number, and even a couple of sample games with actual questions from previous shows. There I also discovered that to get on the show, you call the number and answer three trivia questions correctly in under ten seconds per question. Then you tell them when you want to appear on the show, from a range of tape dates. Then your name is thrown into a pool with all of the other people who called in that day who answered all the questions correctly *and* selected the same tape date (of which there are, at this time, about 14). A computer picks 25 or 35 (depending on the day) names and those people are called back to participate in a second telephone round. In this round contestants answer a series of questions. Of all of the semifinalists who register for a given tape date and are chosen by computer, the twelve who answer all of the questions correctly fastest get to go to New York to be on the show, all expenses paid. I have now qualified twice and have not yet been chosen by the computer to participate in the next round. The last thing that I found out on the website is that the questions get fiendishly difficult at around $250,000. If I ever get on the show, I'm going home with at least $32,000 but chances that I'll make over $125K are vanishingly small. But hey - I'm a graduate student. I'd go just for the all-expenses-paid trip to NYC.

Incidentally, the website also informed me that they expect about 4 million phone calls, and that about 8% of the callers will answer all three questions correctly. That's 320,000 over 14 tape dates and they call at least 25 people for each date which makes my chances about 1 in 1000. Now that I've qualified twice, I've got a one in 500 shot . . . where the hell's my phone call??

The format of the show is as follows: Contestants (of which there are ten each night) are asked a general-knowledge question in which they are asked to rank four items in some order (example: Rank according to the year they were invented the following items: 1. linoleum 2. pencil 3.food processor 4. washing machine). Whoever answers the question right the quickest gets to advance to the 'Main Game,' wherein he or she has the opportunity to answer up to 15 questions. The first question, which is invariably something ridiculously simple ("Which of these colors does not have a rhyme in the English language?" 1. red 2. blue 3. range 4. green) is worth $100 dollars. The next four are worth $200, $300, $500, and $1000, respectively. At $1000, which is a so-called 'milestone question,' a correct answer guarantees that you go home with at least $1000 dollars. This is significant because if you answer a question incorrectly, you win the amount of money that your last correctly-answered milestone question was worth. Milestones are at $1000 and $32000. Thus, if you blow the $500,000 question by guessing that "The Phoenix and the Turtle" was written by Lewis Carroll and not William Shakespeare, you go home with $32K instead of the $250K that you could have had. Oh - and you have 20 seconds to answer.

You are given three "lifelines," which I think are the most interesting part of the game. The first, called "50/50," is an option that when invoked eliminates two of the four answers (and unlike with Monty Hall, your chances of guessing correctly do not change after the elimination because your first guess may or may not be eliminated). The second is the "audience" lifeline, which allows the studio audience to key in its answer and presents the opinions of however many people are there in bar graph form. The last is "call a friend" -- you designate before the game a friend whom you can call once during the game for help. Interesting, huh? Your friend has thirty seconds to reply, so internet searches are pretty much out. But still, it's a cool concept.

That's pretty much it as far as the game is concerned. Shows are half an hour long unless they're on a Wednesday or weekend day, in which case they're an hour long. Usually I think about three people (out of the ten) get to try for the million.

Interestingly, the reviews that I read of WWTBAM almost invariably stated that the US version is nowhere *near* as suspenseful or mindf*cky as the UK version. Apparently, the host there is a real ornery cuss who asks lots of questions like "are you *absolutely sure* about that?" and "You sure you don't want to change your mind?" when contestants have about 5 seconds left. The US host is Regis Philbin. 'Nuff said. In addition, I do not believe that there are milestone questions in the UK game - one slip-up, and you go home empty-handed. But I'm not sure about that.

So that pretty much sums up the show. I have no idea whether it would be fun to watch - to be perfectly honest, I'm not so sure it would be. By the way, no one has won more than $250,000 yet. Once Regis mints his first millionaire, I'm betting that the dramatic tension (and ratings) of the show will drop precipitously. But I'm pretty damn sure that the game would be an easy one to play, and to do relatively well at. So I'm going to keep calling in (you can only attempt to qualify twice per day) until I end up on primetime. See you there . . .

TKTV is always looking for new guest writers. Do you have an idea for an article? Write to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "guestwriter."

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4. Don't miss

For details and lots more fun TV to look forward to, see
http://www.tktv.net/index.html?/upcoming.html

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5. TV Trivia

Last week's question was: what is the name of the actress who originally played Jack in the pilot of the WB's "Jack & Jill?"

Okay, I obviously need more contributions to this section, since I made this one up myself and not one single person sent in an answer. Amelia Heinle, known for her roles on the daytime dramas "Loving" and "The City," was originally cast in the role of Jack, but was replaced with Amanda Peet when things "didn't work out."

This week's question is, what is the nationality of Anthony Ruivivar's character Carlos Nieto on "Third Watch?"

Send answers to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of tvtrivia.

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6. Favorite Quotes of the Week

From "Ally McBeal"
"If God made the penis revokable he'd be asking for yours back right now, you whipped, whipped things. The problem is, you've already given it away. What you all need to do is go home, today, and say, 'Honey, give me back my penis.'" -Fish

From "Angel"
"My parents were great. They tasted a lot like chicken." -Angel

From "Frasier"
"How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia." -Niles

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7. A totally unrelated link

Chicken Head

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"The wheel was invented so we could move faster. Credit was invented so we would have to." -Cullen Hightower