THE TKTV NEWSLETTER
Season 2, Episode 8 aired February 22, 1999

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CONTENTS
1. Intro
2. Letters from the viewing audience
3. Kim's Commercial Comments
4. TV Ramblings
5. Don't miss
6. Mastering the "M" Word by Rebecca
7. Favorite quotes of the week
8. A totally unrelated link

1. Intro

Ah yes, another week, another Newsletter. I had a lovely weekend myself. I discovered a new video game (Tekken), a new bar (Zanzibar), a new subculture in New York (the fashion world), and a new food (stuffed Cornish game hen). All in all, I'm feeling very well-educated.

Kim's back with her commercial comments this week. In her words, she couldn't find a commercial that really irritated her last week, so rather than pick on some poor, unsuspecting commercial without warrant, she just decided to have a wholly positive column this week.

Rebecca's back with her column as well. She decided to write about... um... well, you can just read her column.

And I got some useful feedback last week that I decided to incorporate into this week's newsletter. A friend from my old job at methodfive said that he felt that the "Don't miss" section was a bit too long and overwhelming, and that it was too difficult to read through it and find what one should actually watch, so I trimmed it a bit. It's more selective, so you don't have to be. However, there are still more complete listings on the site for those of you that want all your options.

That's about it. I think this newsletter is long enough without some monstrous intro. Enjoy the read!

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2. Letters from the viewing audience

From Cristobel:
To everyone who eased my confusion over the Swedish puzzle: thank you! No one in my office knew the answer, although a few people suggested printing the diagram on the color printer and cutting the shapes out. When your boss sits opposite you, this isn't generally a good idea, so the TKTV newletter responses worked quite well for me. They were complicated enough so that I didn't feel like an idiot for not having figured it out myself...
From Coni:
I have really hated those previews every time I watch Felicity, Charmed, or Dawson's Creek and they show a preview before the show actually starts. I usually get up and get something to drink because I don't want to see something right before I watch it. I don't mind seeing it after a new episode and they show me what will happen next week, but not immediately before the show itself. It is very irritating. I'm not that extremely spoiler sensitive either. I just don't want to know everything or why bother watching.

After I saw commercials for "She's All That", I saw the herion commercial again and was pretty sure it was the same actress, Rachael Leigh Cook. This was all fine and good until I saw her in Dawson's Creek. She annoyed me very, very much. Maybe it was the character rather than the actress, but she was just....yuck. Abby annoys me at time, but I don't get turned off by the look of her when she comes on the screen. Jen drives me crazy other times, but I still like the actress. I don't seem to have a problem with the other characters and actresses, but everytime that Cook was on the screen I couldn't wait for her to be off it. I don't know what is up with me (I don't usually have this much contempt for an actor), but she annoyed me greatly.

I think of the cherry pits everytime I see Veronica Cartwright. I'm sure she would be thrilled to think that someone thinks of her that way, but I can't help it. It is quite an image to see. :)
Letters from the viewing audience are always welcome. Please email any opinions, questions, comments, or random thoughts to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "letters." Letters may be edited for length or content.

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3. Kim's Commercial Comments

I'm a little behind on my television viewing this week because my Saturday afternoon/night ritual was a little off. You see, I usually spend part of my Saturday ("my time") catching up on everything I taped during the week but didn't watch.

This weekend was different because I was supposed to have a romantic Valentine's Day date with my husband. We thought we'd do the whole "Message In A Bottle" thing--it's supposed to be the best date movie of the year, right? Well, at the last minute we thought better of it and opted for "Payback" instead. It was definitely worth my $6.50. But I did feel a little guilty for liking Gibson's character so much... he was really BAD!

But I digress... This is a newsletter about television and a column about commercials. So here I go again!

What spot has me laughing? Crispy M&M's

Those living M&M's commercials have always been somewhere between mildly annoying and moderately amusing in my mind. But I can't help but chuckle at the latest one I've seen.

Picture this: Sicily--1928. Oops! (Golden Girls flashback...sorry). Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld, Maggie Winters) walks into the room to find one of those life-size M&M's characters sitting on the sofa.

"So you're the new crispy M&M's?" The little orange candy coated chocolate answers in the affirmative then obviously wishes he could take it back.

Puddy (forgive me, but he really seems to be Puddy in this spot) goes on to describe the new crispy M&M's right down to the crispy rice center. He is clearly thinking how he'd like a little crispy melting in his mouth. The next thing we see is Crispy jumping off the sofa and landing (like a bug on it's back) on the floor.

"You can't eat a candy off the floor" argues Crispy.

"Why not?"

Crispy, "It's a rule!"

I can't help it... I just have to laugh out loud every time I see this one! It seems that I have a soft spot for commercials that remind me of my childhood. Last week it was animal crackers and this week it's M&M's. On second thought maybe I have a soft spot for commercials that remind me of food.

Some of the M&M's spots can be viewed online at an exceptionally cool website devoted to the little guys. Check it out at http://www.m-ms.com/

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4. TV Ramblings

One of the coolest things about the movie "The Hunt for Red October" was the way that they didn't make you read subtitles. They started the movie with subtitles, and all the Russians were properly speaking Russian, and then a few minutes into the movie, they did this eerie close-up on a Russian's mouth, and when the camera pulled away the speaker was speaking English. Very cool. It was like the filmakers were saying to the audience, "We're not going to insult your intelligence by having a bunch of Russians speak to each in English with a Russian accent, but at the same time we don't want to make you read subtitles for two hours, so you know they're speaking Russian, and we know they're speaking Russian, but you're just going to hear English because it will make it easier for everyone." I don't know if "Seven Days" thought of it on their own, or if someone saw it done during "Red October" and decided to copy it, but "Seven Days" did the exact same thing during their last episode, most of which took place on a Russian submarine (hmmmm... another similarity to "Red October"). My kudos.

Still liking "Felicity" more and more with each episode. This week the killer scene was the hospital, when the entire cast was lined up at Todd's window. I was laughing aloud by myself in my room. Isn't it odd how seldom you laugh aloud when you're alone?

Okay, much like Kim, I am a bit behind on my tape viewing, so I didn't see the Valentine's Day episode of "Frasier" until this past week. I just need to say that David Hyde Pierce is a genius. The opening vignette of Niles preparing for his Valentine's date, and ending up passed out in his underwear in front of the open door with a burned couch and an apartment full of fire extinguisher foam was one of the most beautiful ten minutes of TV I have ever seen.

Why does "Dawson's Creek" have no seasons? I understand that they film in North Carolina, and there isn't much snow there, but seriously, couldn't they make a little more effort? I mean, they refer to fact that they're in a small coastal town in Massachusetts all the time, and yet they're never bundled up for winter. Hmph.

On the last "DiResta," John DiResta went undercover to bust a drug-dealer. Of course, he ended up in jail himself, but the way that the producers turned the entire show into an episode of "NYPD Blue" was great. The scene changes, with the authentic-sounding music and the jerky camera work, were particularly great. I love it when TV shows reference other TV shows.

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5. Don't miss

For details and lots more fun TV to look forward to, see
http://www.tktv.net/index.html?/upcoming.html

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6. Mastering the "M" Word by Rebecca

Everybody does it. Or at least, everyone thinks about it. Some can talk about it. Others flush and cast down their eyes at the very mention of the word. It makes 13 years olds squeal "ewwww..." in public, while furtively, in the privacy of their bedrooms, fearful that Mom might walk in at any moment, they experiment. Down there.

At the risk of making an unsubstantiated, sweeping statement, masturbation is perhaps the most commonly-referenced subtext in American culture. After all, everybody IS doing it. And everybody DOES think about it. It's the one thing we can discuss without actually mentioning the "m" word, safe in the assurance that everyone within ear shot will know exactly what we're talking about.

Lately, masturbation is gushing into primetime with as much force as a fourteen-year old who just discovered Playboy for the very first time.

Take Spin City, two weeks ago. Mike and Nikki are finally getting it on in yet another step of the inevitable will-they-won't-they sitcom staple. In this episode, they did. Finally. But not before the show devoted a half-hour to the logistics of trying to have sex.

In the first missed opportunity, Nikki arrives late for the appointed assignation. A chagrined Mike makes it clear that, well... see ... he was so excited about her coming over that... well... he becametense... and as he kept waiting and thinking about it, he got more tense... and then, well, he had to release all that tension...

Whups. Wanna cigarette honey?

And Spin City is not alone. A few days ago - during the workaholic's primetime showing of Friends (11:30 pm on the UPN) - Ross inadvertently walked in on his sister (!) in the shower. Monica, embarrassed, tried to assure him that she was just making sure the "shower nozzle was working."

Then there's Seinfeld. Perhaps the most famous episode on the show's 9-year career. The one that made almost every American wonder, however fleetingly, how long they could last as Master of Their Domain. (Personally, I didn't make it through the night. But that had nothing to do with the cast of Seinfeld.)

None of these shows ever mentioned the actual word. Yet, if we're allowed to say "ass" on TV now, "masturbation" surely can't be a sin - at least in the eyes of the FCC. Why do we find such hilarity in the talking-about-it without- -actually-saying-it dialogue?

Face it. Our sexual culture is still in a girdle. Sure, we may have come leaps in bounds in the last century (after all, we can say "ass" on television) but most mentions of sex come with a rating. Just ask Giuliani. And if we were such an open, sexually sophisticated and comfortable society, would we have wasted the last year of cocktail party conversation obsessed with a semen-stained dress and a cigar? No, American culture remains anything but sexually blasé.

We are still a society of junior-high school kids, slightly aghast and nervously giggling at the mere mention of something happening "down there." And TV is tapping into that titter.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. At least most junior high school kids eventually graduate. Maybe someday, sooner than we think, we'll be laughing out load during prime time at an actual use of the "m" word.

And we'll all be one step closer to mastering our domain.

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7. Favorite Quotes of the Week

From "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"Whatever. I'm not looking to hug and cry and learn and grow." -Faith

From "Felicity"
"You don't respect the machine." -Javier
"What?" -Ben
"If you don't respect the machine, you will never get the quality mochas." -Javier
"I respect the machine." -Ben
"You clearly have contempt for it. Turn the knob the way you would want to be turned... if you were to be a knob." -Javier

From "Dawson's Creek"
"It's the elephant in the room syndrome, the obvious but unspoken topic, the thing that's always lurking but never brought up. Of course, in your case it's a gay elephant." -Dawson

and

"I mean, here I am, single, sandwiched between two women who both dumped me. I am pathetic." -Dawson
"Hey, I'm dating a bible-thumping hypocrite, okay?" -Jen
"Hey, my boyfriend may be gay." -Joey

From "The Simpsons"
"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." -Bart

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8. A totally unrelated link

Hamster Dance

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