THE TKTV NEWSLETTER
Season 2, Episode 6 aired February 8, 1999

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CONTENTS
1. Intro
2. Letters from the viewing audience
3. Happy VD: A Television Survival Guide by Rebecca Howland
4. TV Ramblings
5. Don't miss
6. Party of Five, Mediocrity, and the Great Big Box
     -by guest writer Jen Oyama
7. Favorite quotes of the week
8. A totally unrelated link

1. Intro

Well, I decided to break away from the small screen this week, and go watch some real live entertainment. I have always loved the theater, and I find that I don't take advantage of the fact that I live in the land of Broadway nearly often enough.

Last Wednesday I saw "Fosse." It was beautiful. The first act dragged ever-so-slightly, but the second two more than made up for it. The sheer variety of work that they showed from one choreographer was amazing in and unto itself, never mind the quality and inventiveness of the work as well. It was two and a half hours long, and it seemed like 45 minutes. Wow wow wow.

Last night I ushered a show at the New York Theatre Workshop with my friend Alex. The show happened to be the only other musical that the New York Theatre Workshop has ever produced other than "Rent," and I think it's bound for Broadway. The show was "Bright Lights, Big City," and yes, it's the same story as the Michael J. Fox movie from 1988. Both the musical and the movie are based on the novel by Jay McInerney (who, incidentally, wrote "Gia," the 1998 made-for-TV movie that won Angelina Jolie a Golden Globe).

It was fabulous. It's still in previews, and it was definitely a little rough around the edges still (I heard they're still making daily changes), but it's going to be really really good. The music is fun, the lyrics are witty, the story is great, and the performers are talented. The story, for those of you who don't know, is about a talented 24-year-old writer in New York City whose life is falling apart when his wife leaves him and he develops writer's block (along with a bad coke habit and a tendency to stay up for sunrise a little too often).

Although his situation is extreme, I think it accurately illustrates what a lot of young intelligent people are going through in New York right now. There are so many distractions in this city, that it's easy to fall off your chosen path. There are so many things to do, and so many people to meet, and so many opportunities, that it's hard to pick what to concentrate on. You can be as smart as a whip, but if you don't have the will-power to keep your nose to the grindstone, New York can chew you up and spit you out and you won't know what happened to you.

Anyway, if you live in the New York area, the show opens February 24th, and I highly recommend you go see it. Then, when it becomes the hottest thing on Broadway, you can say you saw it way back when. For those of you who don't live in New York, keep an eye out for it. I bet it'll be coming to a theater near you soon.

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2. Letters from the viewing audience

From a fan of TKTV who wishes to remain nameless:
The Superbowl Party (included but was not limited to)
From Rachel:
My question for the week... why does Sydney on Providence feel the need to discuss every single one of her patients with every person she meets? I may not be a doctor, but isn't that illegal or unethical?
From Jennifer:
I just had to jump in there to respond to Jessica's "in other news" comment about the chemistry between Claudia and Griffin. YES! I have noticed. There is definitely something going on there, it's just a matter of whether or not the writers decide to develop that relationship more. In one respect it is a bit bizarre, but on the other hand that could make for a lot of really interesting and traditionally superb Party of Five scenes. Not to mention I continue to pathetically refuse to completely surrender the fantasy that Julia will wake up someday and take Justin back since I absolutely love Michael Goorjian and think he is an incredible actor. Therefore distracting Griffin with Claudia will open the door for Justin's grand re-entrance! (Of course, I always used to dream of the return of Kate as well and don't even get me started on Kirsten and Charlie. : ) Please excuse my extensive tangent there...it made sense in my head hehe.
From Cristobel:
On the Superbowl: It was a lot more exciting if you were there. Yeah, I was there. It was a lot more exciting than watching it on television. Oh yeah, and the weather was really, really soul-healing. We went to see this place called "Butterfly World"; now THAT's exciting.

On the unrelated link: GRRRrrrr! How IS that possible? I don't know what you were doing at that (Swedish) site, but I've truly scrambled my brain trying to figure that puzzle out. Where's the answer?

(Note from TK: Does anyone have an answer for Cristobel? I couldn't figure it out myself. If you missed it last week and want to check it out, it was http://www.robot.se/w2/fundera.gif)
From Amara:
If you asked me four years ago, "would I be upset if Melrose Place was pulled off the air?", the answer would have been a resounding "Yes!!" Now watching MP is like watching Strom Thurmond try to conduct a Senate Committee hearing--a stone aged relic desperately trying to fit into a new age. MP rehashes tired old story plots (see: Mike and Jane's third, unhealthy marriage) and tries to pass off these plots off as plots that we, the viewing audience, could relate to (like, do I ask my assistant try to find lovers for me?).

As much as I adored the show in my high school and college years, I am pleased to see Melrose Place finally put out of its misery.
Letters from the viewing audience are always welcome. Please email any opinions, questions, comments, or random thoughts to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "letters." Letters may be edited for length or content.

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3. Happy VD: A Television Survival Guide by Rebecca Howland

It's here. Again. That time of year where every store in America becomes festooned with pink streamers and construction paper hearts. That time in the muzak calendar between Jingle-Bell Rock and Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail. Valentine's day.

Or VD, as I like to call it.

After all, the holiday doesn't do anybody any favors. Single? There's no better way to rub it in. Dating? Time to find out how much your amour-for-the-moment really cares. Married? Forget about it. No matter what, you aren't going to get it right. As far as I can tell, Valentine's day has never serviced anyone outside of Hallmark.

But in this day and age of commercial saturation, there's simply no way to remain immune. For the next week, VD is everywhere. And come Sunday night, if you're not out smooching with the first person who asks, chances are you're going to be miserable. You need some defenses again the dreaded disease. The answer? TV.

Curl up with that loyal remote, and celebrate the joys of singlehood. And, for your viewing pleasure, I offer-up this survival guide: The top-ten things to watch by yourself on Valentine's Day:
10). Change of Heart
"Hey honey... I was thinking... wanna break up on TV?" 1 am on the UPN here in New York. Check it out.

9). Jerry Springer
Fall in love, get married, sleep with your mother-in-law, sleep with the dog, sleep with your mother-in-law AND the dog at the same time, and you too can get slapped on national TV!

8). C-Span
Spend some time with the most influential men in America. You'll be out like a light.

7). Xena, Warrior Princess
Who needs love when you can kick some serious ass? Hiiiiii-YAH!

6). David Letterman
Celebrate the most single guy on TV. He's funny. Funny-looking. As rich as midas. And rumor has it he's a virgin.

5). Seinfeld reruns
After all, would you really want to date any of them? Didn't think so.

4). Cheers: The Sam and Diane Years
One of TVs most famous will-they-won't-theys. And the whole time, the country prayed "please, god, no!"

3). The Monica Lewinsky deposition
You too can learn how to snap your thong and ruin a president.

2). LoveLine
Isn't it amazing how many things can get stuck up in there?

1). Anything on Public Access
If that's really what's out there, maybe being alone just ain't half bad.
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4. TV Ramblings

Yet another spotting of my old college friend, Judd Trichter. This time, Judd was featured in a TV Guide article about George Clooney leaving "ER." Judd guest starred on "ER" last season as the concerned boyfriend of a patient. For some reason, TV Guide chose a picture with Judd in it as the one of the cover photos of the article. Pretty cool. The TKTV Newsletter has reported other sightings of Judd in the past in Sprite commercials and a guest role on "Buddy Faro."

Who said Carmen Electra could act?

The WB is really going to have rethink their pairing of "7th Heaven" and "Hyperion Bay" on Monday nights. When "Hyperion Bay" first premiered, it was okay. Both were sort of family-based dramas, although nothing could be quite as sugary sweet as "7th Heaven." But with the newly revamped "Hyperion Bay," something is blatantly wrong with the lead-in of "7th Heaven."

I really enjoyed both cartoons that FOX showed after the SuperBowl last Sunday. The sneak preview of "The Family Guy" I thought was pretty funny (and I loved the Seinfeld reference of the jester with the stand-up routine and Seinfeld-like music in the background), and "The Simpsons" was one of my favorites this season (besides maybe yesterday's episode). Discussing the SuperBowl, Moe and Homer quite obviously covered their mouths with a beer mug while saying the names of the teams, to illustrate that the episode was produced before the SuperBowl opponents were known, and their names were quickly dubbed in later. Then their companion, the travel agent that befriends Homer, covered his mouth with the beer mug as well, and said the name of the president's wife, Hilary... illustrating that the producers weren't sure that Hilary would stay the president's wife when they produced the episode. And of course, there was the ever present where-is-Springfield joke. Marge is on the phone reciting her address, and as she is saying "Springfield," it seems that she is going to say "Ohio" when she is really just saying, "Oh hi, Maude, come on in!" "The Simpsons" seems to me to be the one show whose quailty doesn't go downhill with age. This season has been one of the best ever.

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5. Don't miss

For details and lots more fun TV to look forward to, see
http://www.tktv.net/upcoming.html

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6. Party of Five, Mediocrity, and the Great Big Box by Jen Oyama

Now, let me start by saying that I don't even watch Party of Five anymore. I just threw that in to make this post more television related. Granted, I used to be a huge fan until season four rolled around. But after three episodes into the new season, I decided that plucking my eyebrows and doing laundry were infinitely more interesting.

Somehow, inexplicably, I managed to catch a glimpse of Po5 this past week. Now, I have no idea what's been going on since Bailey got on the wagon and Julia married what's his name. In the one scene that I watched, involving Griffin and Claudia talking about some guy named Ned, I kept expecting Grace to pop up in Charlie's scenes, passing out campaign ballots, and that cute kid who used to play Owen, drooling or looking laconic. I tried to get sucked back into the old characters, giving myself five whole scenes to do so. By scene three-- Sarah was looking through the classifieds to find a job for some guy who held a knife to her throat (what?)--my tweezer beckoned. By scene five, I was pouring bleach into the wash cycle.

Unlike my sister, who has never gotten addicted to certain shows the way I tend to, I am the kind of person who goes into a lengthy state of withdrawal when my favorite shows get cancelled or decline in quality. I'm still in mourning, after all, over "My So-Called Life" and the good old days of Roseanne, before Becky became Sarah Chalke. I have also been very hard on shows that don't live up to my standards of consistency--meaning the quality of the writing fluctuates from week to week, and characters do things that just don't mesh with who they've been plotted out to be. I hate it when that happens. My motto is, if it's not essential to the plot, rewrite it.

My sister is the more forgiving type. In fact, like most of America, she's the type who'll latch onto a show after it declines in quality, yet skyrockets in the ratings. I do have to give her some credit for watching Po5 (on and off) for the first three seasons. And hey, she likes Felicity. But for the most part, her idea of a good show can pretty much be summed up by the Nielsen top ten, plus or minus 60 minutes and Monday Night Football. This is, after all, the girl who gave up Friday night football games for two undercover narcs in funky white suits, and had Johnny Depp plastered to her wall faster than you could say "been there, done that."

What's really surprising is how much she connects to these mediocre shows. Jane has rarely been one to analyze anything on TV other than a sports replay. And most of the time she's flipping through channels so fast it's amazing that she retains anything at all. But this weekend, I happened to overhear Jane talking to her friends about something I'd never thought she'd talk about. Out loud. In a somber voice, I listened intently as she relayed her opinions of the Julia-Ned storyline on Po5, analyzing how well written she thought it was. She especially liked how the writers had Julia rationalizing Ned's abuse, which she apparently took as being indicative of the far ranging effects of domestic violence, even on strong women. With my ear stuck to the door--Po5 may not be worth watching, but I can't help listening to a conversation about it--it suddenly dawned on me that Jane's involvement with that storyline had gone a little too far. This was, after all, Po5.

Had it been any other show, I might have let it go. Even Dateline or something on PBS, maybe a serious episode of Boy Meets World (you know, the kind where it happens once and never happens again). But Po5? Wasn't Julia married to Griffin? Who was this Ned guy? How much melodrama can one family take? And why was my sister taking this storyline so seriously? This is not to say that domestic violence isn't serious--of course it is. And the fact that they are portraying this problem on TV is pretty remarkable in itself, considering they didn't want to portray Julia's abortion / miscarriage in Season 2. But for my sister to take something off of TV, and analyze it out loud is pretty remarkable. Suddenly, I wondered what I had been missing these past two years, in my adamant boycott of Po5. Tweezers temporarily put aside, I rushed to find out.

What I saw didn't do much to change my mind. The Sarah-Mugger-Help him get a job-Bailey don't like it- storyline really bugged me. Sarah seemed so angry--nothing like the sweet, interesting character who broke up with Bailey after helping him recover from alcoholism. And what's with the victimization thing? Didn't she get mugged two years ago? Why in Ford's name would she want to help some criminal get a job? Or invite him to her house, alone? That's just ludicrous. Doesn't she go to Berkeley, the implication being that she's, um, smart? As for Griffin... why does he hang around the family if he's not with Julia? Isn't that a little awkward when his ex doesn't even live there? I can just imagine my old boyfriend hanging around with my parents, me not there, fixing their car and drinking beer or whatever. It's just too silly.

And okay, I get that Kirsten and her husband, that craggly faced guy, are having problems. But her running to Charlie every time they have a fight--uh, people don't do that in real life. That's what girlfriends are for. I say, get a life, Kirsten. Aren't you supposed to be depressed? She didn't look depressed. Okay, so Claudia is the only one who's semi normal. Whatever happened to her fiddle? Don't tell me they've turned her into some air headed teenager who's only interest is in getting a guy. Whoops. Too late for that. That guy looks a little too old for her, IMHO. But he does look familiar. I'll have to catch him at a better angle. Whoever said something about Griffin and Claudia having weird chemistry... well, I can sort of see what you mean. Maybe they'll throw that in somewhere along the way, for added tension / kicks.

Okay, here's the Julia-Ned storyline. Oh no, he just smacked her. Having known women who have been abused by their spouses or boyfriends (I'm currently working with a girl who was abused by two different men), watching this is pretty hard. And thinking of how Neve Campbell's character used to be tells me that this is just another ratings ploy--one more depressing card dealt into the growing hand of melodrama. But wait, here's the catch--the very last scene. I get what it's trying to say--that the abuse will continue no matter how nice he treats her or how much in love they seem. But I can feel a few goose chills running down my spine anyways. That Ned guy sure is creepy. He makes Sam-the-roofer look like a saint by comparison. Not that being a racist is better than being a girlfriend-beater. The writers really should get some credit for this storyline.

But forget about the writers. I mean, why isn't Griffin doing anything about it if he knows? Isn't that what ex-husbands who hang around their ex-wives' family's houses are supposed to do? Didn't he used to be a tough guy? And jeez, Justin knows now too. If HE doesn't do anything, then I'm giving up for sure. Mr. Sensitive-Yale-attending nice guy BETTER do something. He was her first love, after all. So now it seems like everyone knows the truth about Ned. I just wish someone would hurry up and interfere already, give that Ned guy a few smacks and a taste of his own medicine. Writers, are you listening? How much more do we have to take before Ned-boy hits the road?

And while you're at it, I think Kirsten and Charlie should just do it and get the whole thing over. We know they want to. We know they should. Charlie may look like an old man, but he's still cute. And I really don't like that guy who plays her husband. He seems too old and serious for someone like Kirsten. Okay, so he's a doctor and all, but he just doesn't do it for me. Charlie is much better. Especially now that he's matured and all. And speaking of mature...why is Owen, suddenly, like twelve years old? Since when do kids go from being five to being twelve? What happened to that cute little Cavarno twin? And why is Owen always hanging out with Bailey and Sarah? Ahem, I realize I'm admitting a little more here than I intended, but I'm observant, what can I say. It's like Bailey and Sarah have suddenly become these surrogate parents, and Owen is their adopted son, even though he's twelve now, and technically Bailey's brother.

Not that I care. I tend not to watch these kinds of things. You know, these mediocre types of shows. That's always been my sister's area of expertise. She's the one, after all, who got hooked on the Julia-Ned storyline to begin with. And if anything, the real lesson to be learned is that I need to stop eavesdropping on her conversations, and get a few of my own. Then maybe I won't be so curious.

Really.

TKTV is always looking for new guest writers. Do you have an idea for an article? Write to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "guestwriter."

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7. Favorite Quotes of the Week

From "Dawson's Creek"
"Some of us are just simple-minded folks trying to get through the day without breaking anything." -Pacey

From "The Simpsons"
"Maybe he's just acting stupid to infiltrate a gang of international idiots. Yeah, that's it!" -Homer

From "Hyperion Bay"
"I know she's a gonad cruncher, but basically she's a good kid." -Marty

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8. A totally unrelated link

Boy's Age Gauge

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The Groundhog didn't see his shadow! Spring will be soon.