THE TKTV NEWSLETTER
Season 2, Episode 4 aired January 25, 1999

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CONTENTS
1. Intro
2. Letters from the viewing audience
3. Keeping Pace by Rebecca Howland
4. TV Ramblings
5. Don't miss
6. Valentine's Vacuum
     -by guest writer Shane Cooper
7. Favorite quotes of the week
8. A totally unrelated link

1. Intro

Once again, if you're not up to date on what happened at the Golden Globe Awards last night, check out TKTV's page before you read this, or it won't be any fun.

Well, last night I watched the Golden Globe Awards with my friends Tanya and Rebecca. We ordered a strange combination of Chinese and Japanese food that, as far as I know, can only be found in New York City, and screamed our opinions at the TV as the hostless show still managed to take up a full three hours of our time.

I must say, I really love award shows. They're pure star voyeurism. You get to see the pretty people, and see a little bit of what THEY are like rather than what character they're playing, and lust after their clothing or wonder why their mother let them out of the house dressed like that. I wouldn't believe Melanie Griffith was an actress if I hadn't seen all those movies she was in. Christine Lahti gets points for making fun of herself from last year by walking out on stage with toilet paper stuck to her shoe. What was Keri Russell wearing? Is this going to be some horrible new triangle-clothing trend? I don't know how the broadcast was for everyone else, but I noticed some big technical problems during the first segment of the show when the sound was broadcasting about a half a second before the picture. I thought it was the ABC technicians that were on strike....

What is a Miss Golden Globe anyway? They introduce the hostess? She's the daughter of whom? Why was Jim Carrey's standing ovation one she'll never forget? What did he do? I just did not get that whole part of the show. I did, however, love when Sharon Stone got up there to lead everyone in a round of applause for the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press, and the camera panned the star-studded audience, and everyone in the audience was looking around as if the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press were going to stand up a take a bow so finally everyone could figure out who they are. Who are they, anyway?

Camryn Manheim got a huge round of applause from my living room for sharing her award with all the senators who vote to dismiss tomorrow. I was scared she was going to share her award with all the fat girls again.... (For those of you sensitive types who missed Camryn Manheim's last acceptance speech, that was not me being insensitive, I'm just quoting her.)

So, Keri Russell won best actress in a drama. As Rebecca said, she's been doing a good job, and Keri, if you ever read this, I'm not saying you're a horrible actress, but wow, did you not deserve this award. There has been very little challenging material on "Felicity," and plus, argh! Kim Delaney! She has been doing incredible things on "NYPD Blue" this season. I just can't handle it. At least "Felicity" didn't get best drama. As much as I have been enjoying it lately, "The Practice" really deserved that one.

Other than that, there were suprisingly few surprises. I very much enjoyed Warren Beatty's tribute to Jack Nicholson. It was nice to be reminded of how many incredible roles he has played. It was nice to see David Kelley clean up. Whatever people are saying about "Ally McBeal" going downhill this season, both his shows are genius, and are great examples of quality television, and I think he deserves all of his accolades. Michael J. Fox did a nice job with the thanks to his doctors, which I believe was sincere, and managed to acknowledge his earlier announcement of Parkinson's Disease without bringing down the mood of the night.

All in all, a very satisfying awards show. And we have only a week to wait until the TV Guide Awards. TV, unsullied by movies and movie stars! I can't wait. Of course, if you want to be prepared, TKTV has just the thing.

Two more quick post scripts to the intro. First, TKTV has two new show sites. We have a site all ready for the series premiere of "Dilbert" tonight, and a site for another UPN show that has managed to hang in for an entire half-season now, "Seven Days." For those of you who have never seen "Seven Days," it's actually quite a fun show. It's got a hokey premise: the government has a device that lets them send one man back in time seven days, and they use it to prevent disasters from happening after they've happened. What I like about it is that it's just pure fun. Very little arcing storyline, very little believable plotlines, and slightly characturistic characters. It's just entertaining. It'll never win any awards, but that's not what it's trying to do. Give it a try. It's easy to get into episode by episode, and you don't have to worry about not understanding some huge conspiracy understory.

And last but most certainly not least, please welcome our new columnist, Rebecca Howland (yes, the same Rebecca with which I watched the Golden Globes... blatant nepotism). Her first installment as a regular columnist is a bit about her most beloved character on "Dawson's Creek," but you can also catch a guest appearance by Rebecca in last week's newsletter when she wrote about "Ally McBeal." Rebecca was a print journalist for the New Haven Register and the Dallas Morning News, and was also the Coordinating Producer of Multimedia for ABCNews Online. She now runs her own web development company by the name of Interocity (), and still has time to share her TV views with us weekly. Now all we need is a good name for her column. Any suggestions?

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2. Letters from the viewing audience

From Amara:
Hey, can we discuss the decline of Melrose Place? With all the snow and cold around here, I have spent a lot of my time indoors, and was able (unfortunately) to watch the latest MP Monday night. Maybe I have just grown up, but MP has sunk to the point of being truly pathetic. Remember how we used to watch it every week after 90210 (another pathetic sister show)? At college, we watched it religiously. In fact, we used to have parties around it. Watching MP was like a rite of passage into adulthood. Now it is a mere frivolous, shallow vestige of its former self. I am really upset about it.

Note from TK: I so much agree! The other day a friend of mine asked me to tape Melrose and Ally for him. I normally watch Ally, but when I got to Melrose, even though I already had it on tape right before Ally, I just fast forwarded right through it. Watching it is a waste of my time.
From Daphne:
In response to Rebecca, I have to say that I like "Ally McBeal" the show, but I LOATHE Ally McBeal the character. Molly (my roommate) and I watch religiously (as does Miss Howland), and every week we wind up screaming "You're such an asshole!" at Ally. I guess you could say I'm sort of in the same boat as she is, but I'm SO much better off! She's someone on TV who *doesn't* make me feel like a failure (unlike all those people on Biography).

I like the other characters -- John Cage, Ling, Fish (if I were in Ling's shoes, I'd TOTALLY do it with him), and that's why I keep watching the show. Last Monday's episode was one of the all-time funniest, I thought.
From Rachel:
It's now official... we share a brain. Kelly... my favorite Angel as well. Damn, I should have kept that lunch box. I could be rich now!
Letters from the viewing audience are always welcome. Please email any opinions, questions, comments, or random thoughts to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "letters." Letters may be edited for length or content.

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3. Keeping Pace by Rebecca Howland

I'm in love with a sixteen year-old boy.

It's not easy for me to admit. Never mind the fact that it's illegal in most states. Never mind that he couldn't even run around the corner to pick me up a pack of cigarettes. (But I quit. Really I did. Really.) Never mind that he could certainly whup me in Nintendo, has never seen ET in a theater, and would think Harrison Ford was some really old guy. I'm in love. Deeply, truly, passionately in love.

With Pacey Witter.

You'd think I'd have enough brains to fall for Dawson ­ he is, after all, a title character, not just some-supporting second string. And he was in the number one movie in America last week. But no. It's those wise-cracking, witty, nice-in-spite-of-themselves guys who get me every single time.

I've been trying to tell myself that I'm really in love with Kevin Williamson, the writer of Dawson's Creek. After all, it was from his oh-so-trendy skull that my true-love's character emerged. But then I saw an interview with Kevin. And, frankly, he just wasn't all that. He was whiny, a little self-involved, a little prone to that special blend of blatant self-promotion and self-conscious self-deprecation that is the true hallmark of any Sensitive New Age Guy. (SNAG for short). Definitely NOT my type.

So there I am, stuck with the face of a 16 year-old on my pillow.

I really don't have a history of idolatry. Throughout junior high, I never understood why all my friends were plunking down their allowances for the latest issue of TeenBeat. My locker never have any images of Johnny Depp taped to the inside, and the words "Rebecca + River forever" never made it inside a single doodle.

I think it all boils down to Pacey's sincerity. As a single-twenty something living in New York, sincerity is not the most common character trait I run into these days. At the risk of discovering my own inner pedophile, it's a sincerity born of innocence that is so attractive.

We get to watch his character growing up ­ see that when he's comforting a hysterical girl, it's the first time he's ever had to do it. We see him muddling through a torrent of ridiculous situations ­ an affair with an older woman, taking care of his girlfriend's psycho-Mom - and we see him learning how to make everything OK with his blend of slap-dash tom-foolery and that little catch in his voice.

If he didn't mess up, he'd be boring. Bland. Like Dawson. Instead, I find myself wanting to grab him off the screen, pull him into my arms, and... well... you know....

Of course, not only is he sixteen, he's also entirely fictional ­ although I'd be hard-pressed to determine which of those two facts would be more of an impediment to a long-lasting relationship. Thus, I am destined to wander the streets and nightspots of Manhattan, looking for my Pacey, hoping against hope that age is not an automatic despoiler of innocent sincerity.

In the meantime, I might just go grab a copy of the latest TeenBeat. I hear there's a photo spread of Joshua Jackson.

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4. TV Ramblings

Yay! "Zoom" is returning to PBS! I probably won't watch it this time around, but I still have fond memories. Since I grew up outside Boston, it was "Zoom" that taught me to remember my zip code as a child. Remember that song? 02134? Well, my zip code was 02138, but it was close enough that I could remember it using the same song. I honestly don't remember that much more about the show, but I must have watched it a lot as a kid to still remember the tune to that song.

Okay, so we have all long known that "Got Milk?" is one of the best advertising campaigns going... and now that I think about it, one of the longest. Just tonight I saw a new one that I hadn't seen before. An old woman, surrounded by her many cats, is headed for the kitchen, assuring her feline friends that dinner is on its way, and she has their yummy milk for them. She reaches into the refrigerator, and with horror realizes that her plastic gallon of milk is empty. She finds some non-dairy creamer in her cabinet, and mixes it with water, making a horrid looking watery white mess, all the while insisting that her cats will never know the difference. She puts down many bowls of this white nastiness, and the cats immediately reject, knocking over their bowls with their paws and hissing. They shut the blinds, lock the doors, and lastly, turn off the electricity in the house. The last thing we see is the scared old woman, surrounded by her extremely angry cats, and then the lights go out, and a "Got Milk" zaps onto the black screen. Once again, they have outdone themselves....

Back when I was a huge fan of "Party of Five," I was frustrated when it was nominated for a Golden Globe award, but didn't win. Now I understand why. Up against the likes of "NYPD Blue" and "Law and Order," it didn't have a chance. I just didn't watch them yet and I didn't understand the incredibly high quality of these shows. I am consistently blown away by them.

I think "Felicity" is finally coming into its own. The last two episodes have found a charming comedic bent, and I think I'm finally getting to know the characters well enough where I sort of care what they're doing. And there's also finally a situation to which I can relate. Julie feels guilty about her feelings towards Ben because of Felicity, even though Felicity has no claim on him and is even dating someone else. Now THAT's a realistic situation.

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5. Don't miss

For details and lots more fun TV to look forward to, see
http://www.tktv.net/upcoming.html

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6. Valentine's Vacuum by Shane Cooper

It's started all ready. You don't know what it is? Can't you feel it the subtle shifting of all single bodies on television towards a coupling which will end in a climactic clash of flesh come mid-February? Yes, that's right, it's Valentine's Day. This year it is Black Sunday. Not a particularly good "date" night, Sunday, but for me it will be a welcome end to all the TV hype I have to go through to get there.

Hello! We just got through the Christmas season, and even worse, New Year's Eve. These are painful reminders to all of us singles what the true meaning of our existance is. When it comes down to it, we want that first kiss of the year (to quote Phoebe from "Friends") to be with someone we are going to finish that year with. So we survive the parties and think it time to settle in to the only part of the year which is almost rerun free because the TV execs know we are locked down in our houses, snug from the cold, hibernating on our couches until spring. But no. Ally is in love and floating off the ground. Ling is smiling. Nelle and the funny little man are apart but doesn't it feel good that it's for all the right reasons: he's in love with Ally.

Yeah! (I hope you're hearing this in your head as sarcastically as I am writing it.) Felicity is trying to have sex for the first time and if it weren't for two, yes two nights of being in the ER with basketball players I am sure I would have more to rant about. Speaking of "ER," could they head off the rating bomb that will be Carter hooking up with Lucy? My money says it will happen before the 14th.

So now do you see it? On all your favorite shows everyone is going to be sitting closer, holding gazes longer, brushing fingertips, exchanging notes, pining away, sending secret messages, and don't forget admiring from afar, and of course THEY ARE ALL TAKING IT SLOW. It's the couplehood count down. So for you other singles, get out the vodka shooters and your life raft because Noah's Ark has hit the airways and it's going to be a long ride until everyone is burning those Valentines and raising a pint for St. Patrick.

TKTV is always looking for new guest writers. Do you have an idea for an article? Write to TK at tk@tktv.net with the subject of "guestwriter."

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7. Favorite Quotes of the Week

From "Brimstone"
"So many ways to die, hard to pick a favorite." -the Devil

From "Millennium"
"Can we always be together?" -Jordan
"Of course." -Frank
"Forever?" -Jordan
"Well, nobody gets forever. By the time you're thirteen, it's going to feel like an eternity." -Frank

From "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"I went to 'Snoopy on Ice' when I was little. My dad took me backstage and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock." -Willow

From "That '70's Show"
"Oh, Hyde, watching fail over and over... it is like Charlie Brown and the football." -Fez

From "Ally McBeal"
"I feel happy. I'm just not equipped." -Ally

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8. A totally unrelated link

Xenium

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Technology and drugs are the only two industries that call their customers users.