THE TKTV NEWSLETTER
Season 1, Episode 8 aired December 21, 1998

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CONTENTS
1. Intro
2. Letters from the viewing audience
3. TV Ramblings
4. Too much TV
     -by guest writer Shane Cooper
5. Don't miss
6. Favorite quotes of the week
7. A totally unrelated link

1. Intro

Well, the Golden Globe Award nominations were announced last Thursday. To see what they were, check out TKTV's Golden Globe page (which of course has the TV stuff before the movie stuff). In fact, I highly recommend checking out that page before you read the rest of this intro, because I'm basically only going to talk about the Golden Globes.

I cannot believe "Felicity" was nominated as best drama. Granted, last week's episode was good (see below for more on that), but the show as a whole does not compare to its companions in the category. It doesn't even come close! And I can think of lots of other shows that should have deserved that fifth spot, such as "NYPD Blue" or even "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

And who thought Keri Russell deserved a Best Actress in a Drama nomination for her role as Felicity? She's been good, but certainly not great. This whole "Felicity" thing is getting a little ridiculous... who did the WB sleep with? Personally, I'm really hoping to see Kim Delaney ("NYPD Blue") take this one. Her work during the dying of Bobby Simone at the beginning of this season was just spectacular. I'm not exactly sure what Julianna Margulies ("ER") did to get into this category, but I like her, so I won't complain too much. Let's hope Gillian Anderson ("The X-Files") wears a dress she can walk in this year. Does anyone remember when, I think it was two years ago, she won the award for Best Actress and wore a dress that was so tight and long she literally had to side-step up the stairs and then tripped on her way to the microphone? It was so painful to watch.

So how many people think Jimmy Smits ("NYPD Blue") has a lock on the Best Actor in a Drama award? His dying really was rather spectacular, although he did spend a lot of time just acting sick. I dunno, the other four nominees just really haven't done anything particularly spectacular, but I can't think of another four men on TV who have.

It really does make me sad not to see "Sports Night" in the Best Comedy nominations. It's just been so consistently wonderful since it premiered. Is there anyone out there who watches "Just Shoot Me?" Do they really deserve the nomination? The couple times I've watched that show it really hasn't impressed me as anything special, and I'm wondering if I'm missing something because one or two people have actually told me that the show is really good. "Spin City" could have had a chance at taking this category last year or the year before, but this year the show has not been as original. My guess is it will go to "Ally McBeal" for the second year in a row. "Ally" does have that particular advantage of being an hour-long dramedy whereas the other nominees are just half-hour sitcoms.

Christina Applegate ("Jesse") was a very nice surprise in the Best Actress in a Comedy nominations. It must be very exciting for her after so many years of playing the un-nominatable Kelly Bundy. I wonder if the whole ridiculous anorexia rumor with Calista Flockhart ("Ally McBeal") this year will prevent her from winning? Again, I think Calista has that "Ally" dramedy advantage. You get to show off your acting skill much more in a show like "Ally" than say as the bouncy Dharma of a straight sitcom like "Dharma and Greg." Does anyone watch "Sex and the City?" What's it like? I love Sarah Jessica Parker as an actress, but I have no idea what her role on this show is like since I don't really watch cable.

If Michael J. Fox ("Spin City") gets the award for Best Actor in a Comedy just because of his announcement about suffering from Parkinson's disease, I'm going to be really pissed. Somehow that sort of thing always happens with these awards shows. Then again, it will be hard to tell why he won if he wins, because I totally think that he's legitimately in the running. John Lithgow ("3rd Rock from the Sun") is always tough competition though.... Wow, who would have thought "3rd Rock" would have been so successful and lasted so long? It looked like such a junk show when it first came out....

So that's all the ranting and raving that I have to do on the subject. I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks. We do have until January 24th to play.

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2. Letters from the viewing audience

From Daphne:
I couldn't agree more about the Dylan/heroin thing. This is likely to be one of those annoying two-week long 90210-style addictions (like Kelly's and Donna's). Gross gross gross, but nowhere near as repulsive as Tori Spelling's tits, which are always hanging out all over the place. You would think a guy with as much money as her father has could find a better plastic surgeon!

I have spent so much money at Amazon.com this year that *they sent me a Christmas present*. Kind of scary, but they truly are great for last minute, no-effort, no-brainer presents. You can e-mail gift certificates to people! That way, they get a little extension on Christmas when they return to their computers AND they get to pick something they like! What could be simpler?! That's my best shopping suggestion. Merry Kwanzaa.
From Paul:
Hey TK, you probably don't watch NFL football on Sundays but there has been a great new addition for sports fans. It's the new "virtual red line" on the field to show the first down marker. Fox previously attempted to enhance theirviewers' ability to follow hockey games by highlighting the puck with a blue dot and a red line to show a shot on goal, but frankly it was annoying and eventually dropped by the network (at least I haven't seen it in a while.) The new painted line actually looks like it is really painted on the field as it disappears, just as like all the others on the field when a player moves across it. Unlike the special effects for hockey, this actually enhances the viewers' ability to follow the game in addition to not being annoying. (Note from TK: I always like to hear about things I know nothing about. Do you watch something that is never mentioned in the Newsletter? Well then mention it. We're always looking for outside input.)
From Bekah:
Did you know that the voice of the Grinch who stole Christmas is also the voice of Tony the Tiger?
From Linda:
I have a quote to add to your list:
From "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." -Spike
From Rachel:
So I must put my 2 cents in on the X-files thing... gimmick is fun now and again, but every week?!? I think Chris Carter has grown sick of people clamoring for Scully and Mulder to get together so he's going to do it in such a horrible fashion we all just want it to stop. He has always said 3 things would never happen... M&S wouldn't get together, Scully and Skinner wouldn't and Skinner and Mulder wouldn't. We've had kisses by M&S, S & Skinner, can the full on Mitch P./David D. kiss be far behind? Please somebody show me an alien!
From David:
I have never seen the show, and I certainly did not go to see the movie, but, in flipping thru the channels, I came across an ad on Nickleodeon for a Rugrats Chanukkah special. That's the only Chanukkah themed show I have seen, other than the Nanny!
From Nicola in New Zealand:
Is "Pensacola Wings of Gold" any good? It hasn't come to New Zealand yet and I have a thing for James Brolin (who is only 33 years older than me). Did you know that his grandson eats ants? (Note from TK: does anyone watch this show? I was hoping someone from the viewing audience might be able to help out Nicola since I don't watch this show myself.)
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3. TV Ramblings

More great cross-overs! Helen Gamble, from "The Practice," made a guest appearance on "Ally McBeal." To ridicule all the anorexia rumors, she stared down Calista Flockhart's character and told her that she was admiring her outfit, but maybe she could eat a cookie. Ally took one look at the equally svelte Helen and told her that perhaps they could share it. And then later, when Ally walked into her apartment looking for her roommate, the TV was blaring, and the scene was an earlier scene from "The Practice" in which Helen Gamble opens a medical bag to find a severed head inside. Fabulous! On "Ally," "The Practice" is part of the real world as well as the television world.

And another one! On "Millennium," Emma was walking down a hallway and heard a TV blaring through a door. Funny how the TV was tuned to "The X-Files."

My new favorite theme song: "Law and Order"

Last Tuesday the WB scored twice bigtime. First, I really do think that last Tuesday's episode was the best of "Buffy" yet this season. I love seeing bits and pieces of Angel's past, and like any good TV viewer, I love seeing two lovers drawn together even when they fight their fate. I'm also hoping that this is the lead-in for the "Buffy" spin-off, "Angel." As much as I'll be sad to see Angel leave the show, I'm psyched to see what they do with him. His new show is supposed to be him in L.A. fighting the forces of evil there, and it would make sense that his searching for the reason he was sent back to earth would lead him into this mission.

And then "Felicity." As much as I rag on it above for not deserving its Golden Globe nomination, I HAVE been enjoying the show, and last week's episode was definitely the best yet. It was a great way to give the viewers what they want (Felicity and Noel getting together), but at the same time leaving things up in the air to make you want to see what happens next week (or in this case, next year). The use of sub-titles in the silent reading room was hilarious, particularly when used to illustrate Noel's frustration, and I liked the way they hung around even when Noel was yelling and you could hear perfectly well what he was saying. It was as if the sub-titles just lived in that room, and whether or not you could hear what someone was saying, they were still there. I'm glad that they re-used that strange beet allergy that Noel has. Although I've never seen an allergy like it, at least they're consistent with its use. And the shocker at the end with Julie and Ben was so well-done. Even though I knew that J.J. Abrams had reported in an interview that their friendship was going to "deepen," I really didn't see that one coming. Also, great modern versions of old Christmas carols throughout the episode. All in all, if "Felicity" can keep this up, it's going to sky-rocket up the list of my favorite shows.

On "Cupid," there was a beautiful illustration of the relationship between Claire (the psychologist) and Trevor (the man who believes that he's Cupid sent down to earth in human form to manually match up 100 couples). Trevor has a strong belief in true love, kismet, and the fact that if you just put two people together enough, they'll eventually fall for each other. Claire is a follower of the science of love, and believes in compatibility, and similar hobbies and interests, and careful cultivation of relationships. Last week, when Claire and Trevor teamed up for the first time to try to arrange a couple, Trevor couldn't believe that Claire was actually on his side for the first time, and he turned to her and said, "Scully, are you finally believing in aliens?"

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4. Too much TV by Shane Cooper

Over Thanksgiving weekend, I found what I thought was a moment of quiet time around the house, and I rented a movie that I had wanted to see. I started watching it downstairs in the basement, which in my house is the kids' part of the house, but unfortunately, the fates conspired against me. From this point forward I was continually interrupted, particularly by my mother who was alternately yelling at me for no reason, and then apologizing because her family makes her crazy over the holidays. So I "yeah yeah" her and try to get back to my movie, but now the movie won't play. The VCR is throwing a fit and I have to go upstairs and use my parents' TV.

I don't know what it's like at your house, but we are NOT a family that watches TV together. I mean EVER. There were brief periods in the eighties when I was home from boarding school that I could sit in the same room with my step-father and watch the Celtics, but this usually meant that my sister and mother were hiding somewhere else in the house. For years we only had that one TV, so instead of trying to sit through the hostility that was my stepfather's karmic television territory, my sister and I would read. My mother would fall asleep on the couch instead of talking to him. We women-folk could watch TV together but all our estrogen could not cancel him out enough be able to do it as a family.

So after 26 years of this training, I ascend the stairs in an attempt to overcome my ingrained TV fears and watch my movie on my stepfather's entertainment system. I wade through the four "clicker" system, activating the minimum number of electronics instead of going the Dolby surround-sound distance. Of course I get interrupted again. My mother's, "Hi, sweetie," I greet with, "Mom, I'm watching a movie, please don't talk to me." She was followed shortly by my stepfather. He rounded the corner into the living room and I said to him before he could utter a word, "The VCR wasn't working. I have twenty minutes left. I will be right off." His reply was, "You know what's wrong with you? You watch too much goddamn television. Don't you ever do anything but watch television!?"

My answer is to punch the movie out of the VCR and slam downstairs with him yelling after me, "You can finish the movie!"

What I may have forgotten to mention is that I am home on vacation from teaching at a prep school. It is my vacation. Yet somehow, it does not matter that I am an adult in every other sense of the word: I live by myself, pay my own bills, own my own car... hell, I'm even divorced, yet in my step-father's eyes I am unable to function because I watch too much TV.

I am the oldest child of two. My parents were divorced. My best friend growing up was the television. My mother didn't mind the amount of time I spent with my best friend because then she knew that I wasn't out wandering around our government-housing neighborhood. I would sit down, plug in, and no longer be the new kid at yet another new school. I would sit down and watch the stories unfold. It seemed that whenever I was stuck in my room, whether it was to avoid my family, or because I was grounded yet again, I always wanted to get out just so I could watch TV. With the introduction of a stepfather into the equation, the TV became a battleground of war. Sal only watches "sports, news, or animals," not any of the sitcom crap that I watch. Apparently I'm ruining my mind with that shit.

I know that America is a country where it is estimated that the average adult watches 7.5 hours of TV a day. I know that some people put their lives on hold to watch TV. I know people who shut themselves in on beautiful days to sit and watch TV. I know people who alienate their families to get cable packages that include away games in Budapest of their favorite team. I know people who don't ever exercise or go to a movie. For years, these people come home, eat their dinner, plug in, and fall asleep in front of the TV because "they work for a living."

So if you are sensing a large level of hostility, you're right. I'm pissed. I'm pissed that I missed all the MASH episodes I wanted to see. I'm pissed that when I was fourteen years old, my stepfather built a wooden box around the cable box so we could not watch TV when we got home from school. I am pissed that his youngest son came to visit once and ratted me out for hot-wiring the system around that wooden box. I am pissed that I was grounded for two months about that. I am pissed that the only time I have seen TV with any regularity since 1988 has been when I have been on vacation from school or teaching at a school. I WANT to have enough time to watch too much TV. I should be so lucky as to have my life slow down enough so that my television therapy sessions can occur with more frequency.

So as I approach my Christmas vacation I am letting you all know now: if you wonder where I'll be, it will be on the couch, in the basement of my parents' house, overdosing on television. I will watch "Xena," I will watch old musicals, I will wear my pajamas, and I will probably eat fast food while doing it. I might even sit too close to the TV. So here is my holiday wish for you: I wish that when the holiday madness hits and your relatives ask you repeatedly why you haven't graduated/married/conceived/moved out of their house, that you crawl into your favorite slightly horizontal position and escape into pretty pictures. Just remember that I get the clicker.

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5. Don't miss

Okay, so this one is way in advance, but Dana (who runs the TKTV "Ally McBeal" site) reports that Bruce Willis will be making a rare TV guest appearance on the twelfth episode of "Ally McBeal" this season. The twelfth episode will be the first new episode of "Ally McBeal" shown in January, 1999. Don't worry, I'll try to remind you all again closer to the date.
For details and lots more fun TV to look forward to, see
http://www.tktv.net/upcoming.html

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6. Favorite Quotes of the Week

From "Mad About You"
"We write our problem on a piece of paper, and then bury it in the park. The year Maggie's mother lived with us I wasn't so much a man as a gopher." -Paul and Jamie's British neighbor

From "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
"Well, I heard a few thing, y'know, from the underground." -Willie
"The underground?" -Xander
"Yeah, y'know, from things that live under the ground." -Willie

From "The X-Files"
"Was that a hound I heard baying the moors?" -Scully
"Nope, that was a left cheek sneak." -Mulder

From "NYPD Blue"
"You're kinda tall to be talkin' like Dr. Ruth." -Dolores

From "That '70's Show"
"Nothing says Christmas like a big green grinch ass." -Fez

From "The Practice"
"Are you waiting for him to totally get over me? 'Cause it just doesn't happen." -Helen Gamble

and

"You know the saying, George: once you've seen a man holding a severed head, it's hard to look at him again sexually." -Helen Gamble

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7. A totally unrelated link

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1998/12/17/russia.lewinsky.ap/
Russia may ask Lewinsky for help

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Wag that dog.