THE TKTV NEWSLETTER
Season 1, Episode 6 aired December 7, 1998

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CONTENTS
1. Intro
2. Responses to Episode 5
3. TV Ramblings
4. Identifying Voice-overs
     -by guest writer Shane Cooper
5. Don't miss
6. Favorite quotes of the week
7. TKTV's Favorite Ad
8. A totally unrelated link

1. Intro

I sent that last newsletter out in such a hurry that I didn't get a chance to ask everyone if they had a nice Thanksgiving. So how was your Thanksgiving? Anyone out there have anything other than turkey? It's always nice to hear about neat alternative Thanksgiving dinners. My family went the very traditional route this year, with an 18 pound turkey on the outdoor grill. The only thing that was a little weird was that I was in southern California and Thanksgiving Day was warm enough to go swimming. Having grown up on the east coast where Thanksgiving day usually involves a winter coat, being outdoors in a bathing suit was a strange experience.

In the television world, Thanksgiving marks the end of November Sweeps and the beginning of re-run doldrums leading into Christmas specials. The only occassional bright spot is the return of shows that were pulled during November Sweeps due to their poor ratings. Unfortunately, this year many of those shows were not sorely missed.

The unremarkable sitcom "Holding the Baby" returned to FOX, giving it a total of two surviving new sitcoms from this season (the other being "That '70's Show"). "Encore! Encore!" is back on NBC's revamped schedule. I love Nathan Lane and Glenne Headly dearly, I just wish they'd do something else. "Fantasy Island" is back on ABC's Saturday night line-up as a way to waste time before watching the lovable "Cupid." "Vengeance Unlimited" is back on Thursdays on ABC. This show is almost good, and if anyone can explain to me ('cause I can't figure it out) what it is exactly that makes it NOT good, I'd be really grateful. "To Have and to Hold" is back on Wednesdays on CBS. This is the only return I'm really looking forward to, but I hear that CBS is already planning this show's permanent replacement with their latest scary creation, "60 Minutes II," which is scheduled to premiere in January.

These shows might get half a chance by catching their competitors in re-runs, but most of them are probably already doomed, and the networks are just airing the episodes they already paid for.

So I hope everyone's holiday season started well. Here's looking forward to some good new Christmas specials... and February Sweeps.

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2. Responses to Episode 5

From Bren:
I just wanted to let you know a tidbit of info about Scott Baio. He was Pamela Lee's boyfriend, maybe even her fiance, before she had her Hollywood name (she hasn't always been called Pamela Anderson). That is how she got to California, and when she got plastic surgery (i.e. boobs) and got the "Baywatch" part, they broke up. I learned that on Howard Stern. So, when she started dating him, he was a super-duper catch for her, but now it seems ridiculous that she would even give him the time of day.

Also, on your topic of these kisses that keep happening to people who aren't supposed to be kissed by the person kissing them... you forgot about on "Ally McBeal" when Georgia almost got kissed in the elevator by her hot ex-boyfriend. So is this the beginning of the end of Billy and Georgia? It's probably just to heighten the tension between Ally and Billy, because if Billy and Georgia fight, then Ally being with Billy is more likely. And, just to say my opinion, Ally looks like ass this season. She used to be so cute, but now she looks like an ugly 15 year old with long limp fake blondish hair and anorexia. Too bad.
From David:
[Scott Baio] was in the first several seasons of "Diagnosis: Murder;" then Charlie Schlatter was cast as his replacement. But he's been directing, mostly on sitcoms, for quite some time. The only thing is that he always takes his director credits as Scott Vincent Baio. Are you sure it read "James", TK? Granted, he played James Holbrook (or maybe Halbrook?) on the second season of "Baby Talk," but that wouldn't alter his middle name.
From Coni:
Did you know that the person that claimed she was the 19-year-old writer [of "Felicity"] was on the episode as the junior in high school that just wanted to party and didn't want to check out college at all? I just read that in "TV Guide" that the character was her. I was surprised because she looks even younger than 19 and she is really 30? Wow. No wonder people believed her when she said she was younger. (Note from TK: the writer, Riley Weston, also co-wrote that episode with "Felicity" creator J.J. Abrams.)
From Andy:
Your enthusiastic reviews caused me to watch "Sports Night" this week. I had watched the show a couple of times the first few weeks it was out, but I had sort of forgotten about it. After reading your column I decided to try it again and I liked it quite well. One question though: Do you think the show would be better served if it was an hour in length? To me it kind of seems like it could have an hours worth of material if it had the time slot. I don't know, but to me it just seemed like it ought to be an hour show.
To answer Andy:
I'd love for "Sports Night" to be an hour show, just because I enjoy it so much that having twice as much would be great. However, I must say that it does well as a half hour show. The show and the dialog move so fast, that a lot happens in half an hour. I don't feel cheated at all by the shorter format. And I think it might lose some of its comedic edge by being an hour show and fall into the drama doldrums that it wavers towards sometimes. But I really would love to see what Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme could do with an extra half hour every week.... :)
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4. TV Ramblings

As much as I agree with most of what Cicily said about "Felicity's" inauthentic portrayal of college life, I have to say that one thing in the Thanksgiving episode made me very happy, and reminded me strongly of my college days. Felicity walked into the bathroom to find Hanna crying, reached into a cabinet, pulled out a roll of toilet paper and handed it to her. No one ever bought tissue in college dorms when toilet paper was free!

More great inside references. On "Dawson's Creek," Pacey is trying to explain to Andie what a loser in life he is, and he tells her, "I'm not Luke Skywalker. I'm not even Luke Perry." Of course, "Dawson's Creek" is on the air at 8pm on Wednesdays, and their stiffest competition is "Beverly Hills 90210" on FOX, which is made all the tougher by the recent return to that show of the popular Luke Perry. Of course, Andie, trying to encourage Pacey, tells him shortly thereafter, "Anyone can reinvent themselves. I mean, it's America, Madonna does it every week." Of course I, already having 90210 on the brain, heard her say, "Donna does it every week."

Speaking of "Dawson's Creek," don't any of these kids have curfews, or at least have to call home to tell their parents they're going to be out all night at some kid's house they barely know? I understand that Joey only has to report to her sister, perhaps Dawson's mom is so wrapped up in her impending divorce that she doesn't care, and Pacey's family thinks so little of him that it might not matter, but Jen's grandmother used to be really strict with her, and now she seems to have just dropped off the face of the earth.

OK, no matter who you are, you've heard that Jimmy Smits left "NYPD Blue" this season, and the infamous, now grown-up, Rick Schroder was hired to replace him. And if you're like 99% of the TV-watching population, you said, "What?!" I just need to say how impressed I am by the way that "NYPD Blue" has handled this whole thing. First, the way that they sent Jimmy Smits's character Bobby Simone off, with a smattering of dream sequences and flashbacks, was beautifully done. The grief and fear shown by his colleagues, particularly, of course, his wife and his partner, was authentic and gave Jimmy Smits the kind of send off the viewing audience wanted to see.

But what was really impressive was the introduction of Rick Schroder into his role as Danny Sorenson. First of all, I'm interested by the fact that his character is Danny and not Dan. Particularly with the rumor going around about Rick's violent reaction to being called "Ricky," it's sort of amusing. (By the way, those are definitely all rumors. Rick Schroder says that his wife and mother still call him Ricky regularly, and when others do it it doesn't particularly bother him, he's just not billing himself that way anymore.) What's great is that at the same time the viewing audience is going, "They hired Rick Schroder to replace Jimmy Smits?" the squad is going, "They hired Danny Sorenson to replace Bobby Simone?" They did a great job of working off that premise. Andy Sipowicz and the rest of the guys (except Diane Russell, who just didn't know where to take her grief) liked him in spite of not wanting to, and I think the viewing audience in general liked him in spite of expecting to make fun of him. Although he was "no Bobby Simone," he was a very competent detective, and although Rick was no Jimmy Smits, he was a very good actor. And I really gotta say, as much as they joked about Danny looking fourteen, he really doesn't. In fact, I'd have to say that Rick Schroder looks older than his 28-or-so years. He's got a young but weathered face.

So congratulations to Rick Schroder for a wonderful debut! Congratulations to "NYPD Blue" and its producers for making a great choice of a new actor. And most of all, congratulations to Danny Sorenson for surviving the first day with the squad and coming out on top. I look forward to future episodes.

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4. Identifying Voice-overs by Shane Cooper

Okay, so I have been saving this up, but I think I am finally ready to admit to my most recent television obsession. I am now completely consumed with identifying voice-overs. It started out as such a small thing. "Hmm, that voice sounds familiar. Could that be Captain Picard, talking on that luxury car commercial?" At first I was smug and proud. I would try to "wow" friends. This didn't continue long due to the lack of enthusiasm with which it was met and I was reduced to just torturing my sister with, "Do ya know who that is? Do ya, huh, huh? Noah Wyle!" I would say with a smile.

Yet now, years later, this obsession has taken on a more personal nature. I don't own a television. I am being lent one. I was only lent this TV after months and months of a lonely puzzle piece-ing, sci-fi reading, stranger-in-a-new-town existence. She is a very old Zenith, complete with knobs and rabbit ears, so zapping the commercial isn't an option (unless you are involved in some sort of psycho-aerobic program which involves you getting up from the couch every five minutes). Yes she, the TV, is a she because who else could nurture my midnight colorized cravings? So I get caught, without escape, as the rough hard voice of Chris Penn creeps up on me. I am pinned down, naughty girl that I am, by the imagery of "finishing school on the other side of the pond" with Chris as my school headmaster....

There are three men in this world that I truly admire/worship. At number three, Dennis Miller, who can now be seen on 10-10-220 commercials as well as HBO (if you are so lucky as to have cable). At number two, there's Sting with his caramelized voice telling you about the rainforest (okay, so that was a few years ago).

And at number one is the man who has the hard street-edge intelligence with spoken word know-how to make my dreams come true. He's also the only one who's still single, so I might still have a shot at him. He's the one that speaks to me of the "one percent of truck owners." I close my eyes and think about being strapped into a large pickup truck and looking over to see the sweaty/dirty (after a hard day's work) Henry Rollins at the wheel. Have mercy! A girl really can have it all through the power of television.

All I want to know now is, who will you be listening for?

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5. Don't miss

For details and lots more fun TV to look forward to, see
http://www.tktv.net/upcoming.html

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6. Favorite Quotes of the Week

From "Will and Grace"
"I mean, what am I doing taking on a mortgage? I mean, my life is already a mess. I'm still renting an apartment, I don't have a driver's license, I'm not married, I live with a gay guy, I haven't had sex in five months, and I was in Bloomingdale's this morning waiting on line to buy wrinkle cream and this Jennifer-Love-Michelle-Sarah-Felicity looking thing bumped into me and said, 'Excuse me, MA'AM.'" -Grace

From "Sports Night"
"The Olympic gold-medal winning gymnast and high school sophomore said that after all those hard years of work, it was a relief to finally realize her life-long dream. Good to get that out of the way at fifteen." -Dan

From "NYPD Blue"
"I'm going to ruin your comb." -Danny
"Yeah, there's a big loss." -Andy

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7. TKTV's Favorite Ad: Volkswagen

I made a point of not picking the new Beetle ads as a favorite ad because they've been around for so long and they're really everyone's favorite ads. But Volkswagen has outdone themselves by having another wonderful ad campaign going while the Beetle ads are still out there. "The new Volkswagens are coming." "Drivers wanted."

There's the one with the guy at the buffet table, and he picks up a drumstick, puts it in a bowl of dip, and starts using it as a gear shift, making the revving sounds with his mouth. He looks around guiltily, realizes no one has noticed yet, and keeps going.

Or the one with the woman working out her clutch muscle at the gym.

Or the one with the baby driving in utero.

Or my favorite... the dog who jumps up on the table so that he can put his head in front of the fan to simulate hanging out a car window.

My friend Erin just got a Volkwagen. I'll have to remember to ask her if they're really that much fun to drive. When I was a kid my dad had an orange VW Rabbit with ugly brown seats that I wasn't too fond of, but from what I've seen of today's Volkswagens, they've changed a lot since then.

On a final note, I just need to throw in one ad campaign that I just wish would go off the air already. If I never see another Buddy Lee ad again it will be too soon. They make no sense, they're full of pointless destruction, and that dumb doll is really annoying.

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8. A totally unrelated link

http://www.deathclock.com

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On a warm spring December day in New York City, a news helicopter crashed into a river....